I don’t get it.

Written by Rachel Aliza Elovitz

I’m often told that I don’t get it because I don’t have children. I have canine children, but that aside – it’s true. I don’t get it. After almost 21 years of family law practice, I still don’t get…

  • How a parent feels it benefits his or her children to tell them the truth about their other parent’s infidelity or drug use…
  • How a parent thinks it appropriate to “discipline” a three or four or twelve year old child by striking him or her with a belt…
  • How a parent can rely on corporal punishment being legal in Georgia to justify leaving marks on his or her child…
  • How a parent teaches a child to be respectful of others by denigrating his or her other parent in that child’s presence…
  • How a parent teaches a child tolerance by assailing anyone who does not share his or her religious beliefs or political posture…
  • How a parent imparts to a child the blessings of family, nuclear and extended, by alienating the child from those who love him (or her)…
  • How a parent teaches a child forgiveness by carrying his or her hate around like heavy blanket…
  • And wielding his or her anger like a punitive weapon…
  • How a child can have a peaceful soul if he lives in conflict…
  • How a child can be “thriving” if he or she is kept from spending time with the “guilty” parent or members of that parent’s extended family…
  • How a child can be okay with himself (or herself) when he (or she) is genetically half of the other “evil” parent…
  • How parents can forgive themselves for these errors in judgement, but not find it in their hearts to forgive their own parents…
  • How children can learn to be introspective, to be accountable, if all they hear is one parent blaming the other – or others…
  • How children can learn to grow as people, if they are infused daily with examples of inflexibility and an unwillingness to compromise…
  • How children can learn to trust, when they are led to believe that not even those who bore them are to be trusted…
  • How children can learn the difference in good an evil, when those words are thrown around so recklessly, so capriciously…

I don’t get it.


Rachel A. Elovitz is a domestic litigator who regularly serves as a guardian ad litem, representing the interests of children in custody, abuse, and neglect cases in Georgia’s Superior and Juvenile Courts.

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